TRUST is an accumulative process and (most often) requires practice…
Brene Brown tells a story of her daughter’s teacher using a jar of marbles as discipline and reward in the classroom. When there is positive behavior a marble is added. When there is negative behavior a marble is removed. When the jar is full a class reward is given.
One day her daughter came home very upset, feeling hurt and afraid after some friends broke her trust. Brene used that classroom marble jar as a metaphor to ease her daughter’s pain.
We share our self and our vulnerability with friends. Each time that is honored and kept safe, the jar you have for that relationship fills up with more marbles… “trust moments”. These trust moments come in small moments and gestures, filling the jar – one marble at a time. Those whose jar is fullest are those we trust the most.
The most important of those we need to build trust with, is actually our self.
To connect with that self, to get to know self, to build a relationship with self and to reinforce trust with self… we must give those small moments to self. Filling our own marble jar, so to speak.
When we
Slow down and make time for “CONSIDERATION” (see 4/16 guidance post)
When we
Make time for quiet contemplation with self.
We allow TRUST to grow and unfold within.
{Conversely, when our trust feels threatened, dishonored, or betrayed… marbles get removed from the jar. As human nature would have it, it takes much time to fill the marble jar and yet, often we will dump out all the marbles for slightest infraction of trust. There are times – though rare, when this “dumping all the marbles” is warranted. However, most times this is Ego at its worst – using our insecurities and old wounds against us, and sabotaging our relationships – which also reinforces “the victim” within. When we have a strength of trust within, we are more likely to have clarity in these moments and more likely forgive.}
~ Jill ♥
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